THE 14 DAY EXPERIMENT.COM

Enjoy an inspiring conversation about changing from the inside-out on LIFE IN THE D w/ Mary Sheffield

I spent this Saturday morning sharing inspiring stories on Life In The D with Mary Sheffield on 1200 AM in Detroit.  Mary, her brother Horace IV, guest Al Williams and I talked about changing from the inside-out in order to reach goals like losing weight and staying out of "crazy" relationships. 

Click here to listen to highlights from the show

 

"The dream may not be fulfilled, but it’s just good that you have a desire to bring it into reality!"

An excerpt of Unfulfilled Dreams from A knock at midnight: Inspiration from the great sermons of Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr.

This is one of my favorite sermons by the Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.  It was delivered at Ebenezer Baptist Church in Atlanta, Georgia, on March 3, 1968.

"And each of you this morning in some way is building some kind of temple. Well, that is the story of life. And the thing that makes me happy is that I can hear a voice crying through the vista of time, saying: 'It may not come today or it may not come tomorrow, but it is well that it is within thine heart. (Yes) It’s well that you are trying.'  (Yes it is) You may not see it. The dream may not be fulfilled, but it’s just good that you have a desire to bring it into reality. (Yes) It’s well that it’s in thine heart.  Thank God this morning that we do have hearts to put something meaningful in. Life is a continual story of shattered dreams.

Now let me bring out another point. Whenever you set out to build a creative temple, whatever it may be, you must face the fact that there is a tension at the heart of the universe between good and evil. It’s there: a tension at the heart of the universe between good and evil. (Yes, sir) Hinduism refers to this as a struggle between illusion and reality. Platonic philosophy used to refer to it as a tension between body and soul. Zoroastrianism, a religion of old, used to refer to it as a tension between the god of light and the god of darkness. Traditional Judaism and Christianity refer to it as a tension between God and Satan. Whatever you call it, there is a struggle in the universe between good and evil.

And this brings me to the basic point of the text. In the final analysis, God does not judge us by the separate incidents or the separate mistakes that we make, but by the total bent of our lives. In the final analysis, God knows (Yes) that his children are weak and they are frail. (Yes, he does) In the final analysis, what God requires is that your heart is right. (Amen, Yes) Salvation isn’t reaching the destination of absolute morality, but it’s being in the process and on the right road. (Yes)

There’s a highway called Highway 80. I’ve marched on that highway from Selma, Alabama, to Montgomery. But I never will forget my first experience with Highway 80 was driving with Coretta and Ralph and Juanita Abernathy to California. We drove from Montgomery all the way to Los Angeles on Highway 80—it goes all the way out to Los Angeles. And you know, being a good man, being a good woman, does not mean that you’ve arrived in Los Angeles. It simply means that you’re on Highway 80. (Lord have mercy) Maybe you haven’t gotten as far as Selma, or maybe you haven’t gotten as far as Meridian, Mississippi, or Monroe, Louisiana—that isn’t the question. The question is whether you are on the right road. (That’s right) Salvation is being on the right road, not having reached a destination.

Oh, we have to finally face the point that there is none good but the father. (That’s right) But, if you’re on the right road, God has the power (Yes, sir) and he has something called Grace. (Yes, sir) And he puts you where you ought to be."

Click here to read the entire sermon.

PUSH PAST PROCRASTINATION

If we are honest with ourselves, we can all admit to letting procrastination get the best of us at one time or another.  When you procrastinate, you are really choosing to wait over acting in the now.  Think about what happens when you make a resolution to lose weight and get healthier.  You weigh yourself, make a commitment to work out three times a week and join the gym near your job. Then, one day after working late you are faced with the choice between exercising and going home to watch a movie and you choose the movie.

One thing to keep in mind is that we tend to procrastinate because we don’t want to do something that we think we should do.  There is good news!  We can push past procrastination and override that rebellious teenager that lives within by asking WHAT, WHY and HOW.

WHAT is my motivation? Just like an actor has to find his or her motivation when preparing for a new role, you can discover your motivation regarding a particular goal.  First, you have to understand your motivation style. Some people are motivated by “achievement” or by what they hope to gain after the attainment of a particular objective. If this is your style, then you may want to eat healthier in order to feel better and have more energy.  So when you are feeling the urge to put off until tomorrow what you can do today, stop and envision how good you are going to feel three months from now when you have been exercising regularly.  Others are more motivated by preventing something catastrophic from occurring.  If your style is “prevention” you may be motivated to live a healthier lifestyle to prevent heart disease. If you are tempted to procrastinate, say to yourself, “today I choose to workout to prevent heart disease.”

WHY do I want or need to reach this goal?  Reflecting on “Why” you are pursuing a goal will guide you with a bigger picture rather than the everyday actions that might not be so appealing. This can be inspiring, energizing and give you a sense of purpose. When you feel you just can’t get started on a task, reflect on why you are pursuing your goal. Choosing the salad with veggies over the cheeseburger becomes and opportunity to live longer or become a role model. 

HOW will I reach this goal?  Think about the actual mechanics of how you will get from A to B. What are the specific actions you will take to accomplish the goal?  Run the play in your head: “I will get out of bed, take a shower, eat something from my healthy list and put on my work-out clothes that I laid out the night before. It takes 15 minutes to drive to the gym and after I work out, I will shower, get dressed for work and eat a healthy snack.”  Thinking all the steps through in your mind helps you think about whether or not you can actually do what needs to be done and what obstacles stand in your way.  This deliberate reflection creates an automatic routine that will help you push past procrastination and reach your goals.

Now...push past procrastination and get busy!!

Powerful lessons learned from The Kim Bettie Show's Real Housewives of Detroit

Go behind the scenes with The Kim Bettie Show's Real Housewives of Detroit as they reflect on their experience on reality radio.  Click on the link below to hear the show and meet Karen Bowie-Washington, Carol Gist-Stramler, and Candy Allen-Kinney. 

Click here to listen to the show

Plan To Win: 7 things to do before setting goals for 2012

New Year resolutions don’t have a very high success rate and for this reason many people opt out of making them at all.  Stop blaming yourself!  Blame your process!  When you fail to plan, you fail to win.  Reaching a goal takes hard work. And, the work begins before you even set your goal!  There are 7 things you can do before you set your New Year goals that will increase your chances for success: 

Look at the big picture. Think about how your goal will impact your whole life. You may have to adjust your schedule.  One of my clients who is a working mother decided to go back to college and now incorporates “Study Saturdays” into her weekend plans for her and her daughters as a way to bond AND take care of business at the same time.

Realize YOU will have to change.  A goal usually involves many lifestyle changes you will have to make.  If your goal is to improve your marriage, and your plan includes a list of all the things your spouse will need to do – you need to revise your plan.  Think of what you can change about yourself.  When you change yourself for the better, everything around you changes for the better too.

Understand that change is a process.  Making a change involves going from: not thinking about the issue, to thinking about it, then preparing for it, acting on it and finally maintaining it.  It's important to understand that change is a process and realize that relapse is a common. When you experience a set back, commit to bouncing back to action and don’t slip back into denial.

Don’t be afraid to resolve.  Making a resolution is empowering and you can’t fail at it. When you express your decision and determination to do something, you are now thinking about it and that is a great first step.

Ask yourself WHY you resolve to reach your goal now.  Dig deep and challenge yourself to uncover the reason your goal is important to you and others. This gives your goal meaning and purpose, and will help you when you are tempted to give up.

Get prepared.  You can’t just jump in and expect to reach an important goal. If you are thinking about starting a business, first do your homework to find out what it will take to get your company started and make it a success.  Read a book or watch a documentary of a successful entrepreneur you admire.  This knowledge will help you set the right goals and strategies for success.

Experiment with change.  Before you even set your goal, you can begin to experiment with change.  Think about the lifestyle changes that you need to make to ensure your dreams come true.  Pick one thing, make a simple plan, and get started.  Experimenting with change takes the pressure off - if you succeed or fail - you have learned something valuable.

Doing these 7 things will help you set the foundation for success.  You are alerting your mind and body that it's time to work. This puts you in the right position to set and achieve your New Year goals!