THE 14 DAY EXPERIMENT

The 14 Day Experiment: Your Fastest, Easiest Way to Achieve Goals and Improve Your Life

The 14 Day Experiment book and blog is like having your very own life coach.  How great would it feel to finally be able to strengthen your resolve and revolutionize your life?  There is a common misconception that making positive change in one's life is hard and involves a complete system overhaul. The 14 Day Experiment gives you a new way to think about setting and reaching goals. When you're making an important change in your life, it takes the pressure off when you see the process as an experiment, and reaching your goals can actually be a fun and exciting time. 

Want to learn more?  Hear testimonials of The 14 Day Experiment!

The 14 Day Experiment book and a blog will help you transform your career or life.  Simply go to Amazon.com to download the book.  You can read the ebook on your Kindle, computer or other mobile devices with the FREE Kindle Reading Apps.

Connect with me on the14dayexperiment.com/jointhemovement.   I am here to coach you through the process, answer any questions you may have and offer you encouragement during your experiment.

Click below to read excerpts of The 14 Day Experiment:

What to expect during The 14 Day Experiment

Meet the Bloggers: Real People. Real Change.

Day One: See The Big Picture (Featuring the Optimal Living Quiz)

Single and The City: What Do Men and Women Want in a RelationshipToday?

What's love got to do with it?  Well, everything of course!  We are celebrating Valentine's Day 2012 by sharing the Best of The Kim Bettie Show's Single and The City episode that was recorded on Valentine's Day February 2010. 

The show explores what men and women desire in relationships today and why it's so hard to find harmony.  I had a courageous conversation with three single ladies, Rian English, who just got engaged this year, Lisa Mills and Sandra Dee Johnson.  We talked about what's been holding them back in relationships and each lady blogged about their Love Experiment.  Check out Rian's Blog,  Lisa's Blog, and Sandra Dee's Blog!

Also, Alton Gunn hosted a panel of single men who shared from the heart about what they want and the male perspective.

Click here to listen to the show and get inspired.

 

Enjoy an inspiring conversation about changing from the inside-out on LIFE IN THE D w/ Mary Sheffield

I spent this Saturday morning sharing inspiring stories on Life In The D with Mary Sheffield on 1200 AM in Detroit.  Mary, her brother Horace IV, guest Al Williams and I talked about changing from the inside-out in order to reach goals like losing weight and staying out of "crazy" relationships.  Click here to listen to highlights from the show and get inspired!

 

Unleash Your SUPER Woman!

Are you ready to live your life to the fullest?  Unleash Your SUPER Woman™ is a powerful strategic coaching program built on over 20 years of experience in personal and professional development.  Setting and reaching a cherished goal is one of the hardest things to do.  When we find ourselves off course or disenchanted, we finally start to realize that it is us that actually needs to change.

That’s where Unleash Your SUPER Woman™ can help.  It’s a powerful systematic method that helps you tap into your personal best to overcome your roadblocks to success and unleash uncommon results in career and life.

Unleash Your SUPER Woman™ is for women who are looking to take their personal and/or professional lives to another level.  If you want a holistic coaching process that considers how setting and reaching your goal(s) will impact all aspects of your lifestyle, then Unleash Your SUPER Woman™ is for you. Once you learn the SUPER STRATEGIES for success, you will be empowered to use them again and again to continue living the life you have always imagined!

You can experience the three-phased coaching process individually or host a small group and inspire others.   Coaching sessions can can be completed in person or by phone...from anywhere you are.  To learn more about the process and benefits,  Download Unleash Your SUPER Woman and contact me.

Go ahead...unleash your SUPER woman!

 

"The dream may not be fulfilled, but it’s just good that you have a desire to bring it into reality!"

An excerpt of Unfulfilled Dreams from A knock at midnight: Inspiration from the great sermons of Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr.

This is one of my favorite sermons by the Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.  It was delivered at Ebenezer Baptist Church in Atlanta, Georgia, on March 3, 1968.

"And each of you this morning in some way is building some kind of temple. Well, that is the story of life. And the thing that makes me happy is that I can hear a voice crying through the vista of time, saying: 'It may not come today or it may not come tomorrow, but it is well that it is within thine heart. (Yes) It’s well that you are trying.'  (Yes it is) You may not see it. The dream may not be fulfilled, but it’s just good that you have a desire to bring it into reality. (Yes) It’s well that it’s in thine heart.  Thank God this morning that we do have hearts to put something meaningful in. Life is a continual story of shattered dreams.

Now let me bring out another point. Whenever you set out to build a creative temple, whatever it may be, you must face the fact that there is a tension at the heart of the universe between good and evil. It’s there: a tension at the heart of the universe between good and evil. (Yes, sir) Hinduism refers to this as a struggle between illusion and reality. Platonic philosophy used to refer to it as a tension between body and soul. Zoroastrianism, a religion of old, used to refer to it as a tension between the god of light and the god of darkness. Traditional Judaism and Christianity refer to it as a tension between God and Satan. Whatever you call it, there is a struggle in the universe between good and evil.

And this brings me to the basic point of the text. In the final analysis, God does not judge us by the separate incidents or the separate mistakes that we make, but by the total bent of our lives. In the final analysis, God knows (Yes) that his children are weak and they are frail. (Yes, he does) In the final analysis, what God requires is that your heart is right. (Amen, Yes) Salvation isn’t reaching the destination of absolute morality, but it’s being in the process and on the right road. (Yes)

There’s a highway called Highway 80. I’ve marched on that highway from Selma, Alabama, to Montgomery. But I never will forget my first experience with Highway 80 was driving with Coretta and Ralph and Juanita Abernathy to California. We drove from Montgomery all the way to Los Angeles on Highway 80—it goes all the way out to Los Angeles. And you know, being a good man, being a good woman, does not mean that you’ve arrived in Los Angeles. It simply means that you’re on Highway 80. (Lord have mercy) Maybe you haven’t gotten as far as Selma, or maybe you haven’t gotten as far as Meridian, Mississippi, or Monroe, Louisiana—that isn’t the question. The question is whether you are on the right road. (That’s right) Salvation is being on the right road, not having reached a destination.

Oh, we have to finally face the point that there is none good but the father. (That’s right) But, if you’re on the right road, God has the power (Yes, sir) and he has something called Grace. (Yes, sir) And he puts you where you ought to be."

Click here to read the entire sermon.

PUSH PAST PROCRASTINATION

If we are honest with ourselves, we can all admit to letting procrastination get the best of us at one time or another.  When you procrastinate, you are really choosing to wait over acting in the now.  Think about what happens when you make a resolution to lose weight and get healthier.  You weigh yourself, make a commitment to work out three times a week and join the gym near your job. Then, one day after working late you are faced with the choice between exercising and going home to watch a movie and you choose the movie.

One thing to keep in mind is that we tend to procrastinate because we don’t want to do something that we think we should do.  There is good news!  We can push past procrastination and override that rebellious teenager that lives within by asking WHAT, WHY and HOW.

WHAT is my motivation? Just like an actor has to find his or her motivation when preparing for a new role, you can discover your motivation regarding a particular goal.  First, you have to understand your motivation style. Some people are motivated by “achievement” or by what they hope to gain after the attainment of a particular objective. If this is your style, then you may want to eat healthier in order to feel better and have more energy.  So when you are feeling the urge to put off until tomorrow what you can do today, stop and envision how good you are going to feel three months from now when you have been exercising regularly.  Others are more motivated by preventing something catastrophic from occurring.  If your style is “prevention” you may be motivated to live a healthier lifestyle to prevent heart disease. If you are tempted to procrastinate, say to yourself, “today I choose to workout to prevent heart disease.”

WHY do I want or need to reach this goal?  Reflecting on “Why” you are pursuing a goal will guide you with a bigger picture rather than the everyday actions that might not be so appealing. This can be inspiring, energizing and give you a sense of purpose. When you feel you just can’t get started on a task, reflect on why you are pursuing your goal. Choosing the salad with veggies over the cheeseburger becomes and opportunity to live longer or become a role model. 

HOW will I reach this goal?  Think about the actual mechanics of how you will get from A to B. What are the specific actions you will take to accomplish the goal?  Run the play in your head: “I will get out of bed, take a shower, eat something from my healthy list and put on my work-out clothes that I laid out the night before. It takes 15 minutes to drive to the gym and after I work out, I will shower, get dressed for work and eat a healthy snack.”  Thinking all the steps through in your mind helps you think about whether or not you can actually do what needs to be done and what obstacles stand in your way.  This deliberate reflection creates an automatic routine that will help you push past procrastination and reach your goals.

Now...push past procrastination and get busy!!

Powerful lessons learned from The Kim Bettie Show's Real Housewives of Detroit

Go behind the scenes with The Kim Bettie Show's Real Housewives of Detroit as they reflect on their experience on reality radio.  Click on the link below to hear the show and meet Karen Bowie-Washington, Carol Gist-Stramler, and Candy Allen-Kinney. 

Best of The Kim Bettie Show

Plan To Win: 7 things to do before setting goals for 2012

New Year resolutions don’t have a very high success rate and for this reason many people opt out of making them at all.  Stop blaming yourself!  Blame your process!  When you fail to plan, you fail to win.  Reaching a goal takes hard work. And, the work begins before you even set your goal!  There are 7 things you can do before you set your New Year goals that will increase your chances for success: 

Look at the big picture. Think about how your goal will impact your whole life. You may have to adjust your schedule.  One of my clients who is a working mother decided to go back to college and now incorporates “Study Saturdays” into her weekend plans for her and her daughters as a way to bond AND take care of business at the same time.

Realize YOU will have to change.  A goal usually involves many lifestyle changes you will have to make.  If your goal is to improve your marriage, and your plan includes a list of all the things your spouse will need to do – you need to revise your plan.  Think of what you can change about yourself.  When you change yourself for the better, everything around you changes for the better too.

Understand that change is a process.  Making a change involves going from: not thinking about the issue, to thinking about it, then preparing for it, acting on it and finally maintaining it.  It's important to understand that change is a process and realize that relapse is a common. When you experience a set back, commit to bouncing back to action and don’t slip back into denial.

Don’t be afraid to resolve.  Making a resolution is empowering and you can’t fail at it. When you express your decision and determination to do something, you are now thinking about it and that is a great first step.

Ask yourself WHY you resolve to reach your goal now.  Dig deep and challenge yourself to uncover the reason your goal is important to you and others. This gives your goal meaning and purpose, and will help you when you are tempted to give up.

Get prepared.  You can’t just jump in and expect to reach an important goal. If you are thinking about starting a business, first do your homework to find out what it will take to get your company started and make it a success.  Read a book or watch a documentary of a successful entrepreneur you admire.  This knowledge will help you set the right goals and strategies for success.

Experiment with change.  Before you even set your goal, you can begin to experiment with change.  Think about the lifestyle changes that you need to make to ensure your dreams come true.  Pick one thing, make a simple plan, and get started.  Experimenting with change takes the pressure off - if you succeed or fail - you have learned something valuable.

Doing these 7 things will help you set the foundation for success.  You are alerting your mind and body that it's time to work. This puts you in the right position to set and achieve your New Year goals!

THE BENEFITS OF JOURNALING

There have been many studies on the benefits of Journaling which has been proven to improve health and well-being, counteract many of the negative effects of stress and improve cognitive functioning. People who journal have also been found to become re-employed sooner after loosing their jobs, miss fewer days of work and have higher grade point averages.  Here are a few types of journaling that will get you started:

Free Style:

Sometimes people don’t now how to get started or what to write.  Simply put your thoughts and feelings on paper and just let it flow.  If you are journaling free style – it’s really about making a commitment to the journaling process and sticking with it.  You can journal when you wake up in morning or before you go to bed or even on your lunch hour, when ever you have some privacy and time for yourself. Commit to filling up a page.  If you don’t know what to write…then say that, “I woke up and I don’t know what to write”, and let your thoughts flow from there. Write about the meeting you have today and what you need to do to get prepared.  Just start writing and your thoughts will begin to fill up the page.

Gratitude Journaling:

When you write about what you are grateful for, you keep your mind focused on what you have rather than what you don’t or what someone else has.  This type of journaling helps you stay in touch with what you have in the present, while you are working on improving your future.  The standard recommendation is to record five blessings a day, I like setting a goal like that because it trains your mind to be on the look out for the good.

Weekly or Monthly Accomplishments Journal:

Keep a running list your achievements.  It doesn’t matter if someone else pats you on the back, when you keep an accomplishments journal you get a chance to pat yourself on the back.  This type of journal is great for work because it helps you get prepared for your performance reviews and can give you ideas to boost your resume. At the end of every month, list your accomplishments at home, work, and in your community.  

"STOP B.S.ing"

For the last six months, I have been teaching a class at a career school in Detroit.   I must say it has been one of the most rewarding and inspiring experiences I’ve ever had.  It has been rewarding because it takes me back to where I came from.  I grew up in Detroit near 7 mile and Wyoming.  I am one of the few kids who made it off the block.  Most of the people I grew up with ended up going to jail, selling drugs, dead, in prostitution or stuck in the cycle of poverty.  Yes, it feels good to have made it out of a situation with the odds stacked against me.  But, the memory of my friends who were left behind never leaves. 

I knew this experience would fulfill my need to give back, but what I didn’t expect was to be so inspired.  Many of my students have no job experience, no high school diploma, lots of baby mama/daddy drama, a criminal record, poor living conditions, no transportation and no money. Yet, they have tucked their tails between their legs and are asking for help to get their GED, a trade and a new resume.

My job is to help them develop soft skills and the fortitude to push through their circumstances and succeed.  This past Thursday, I was conducting a workshop and spent about sixty minutes really digging deep to find the right words to motivate them to acknowledge their biggest roadblocks and leverage their strengths to overcome.

After the class, one man who is in his thirties stood up and said, “Ms. Bettie I get it. I have 30 days left of this year. I need to stop B.S.ing.”  After all that, he summed it up and said it better than me.

YES, STOP B.S.ing.  That is exactly what most of us need to do.

If we are honest with ourselves, we can see that we could be so much farther along if we would commit to walking out the “good ideas” and opportunities that we get.  And, we know the key to our future success is to fully embrace who we are and take our performance to the next level.  Here are some of the goals my students are committed to walking out:

• One hates authority, but has decided if someone knows more than she does and says jump, she will say “how high”
• One is very introverted and not comfortable speaking in public, she is pushing to speak up in class (and she did three times that day)
• One says he can’t seem to be conversational during interviews, he prepared and rehearsed and secured a job in four days
• One just found out her man has cheated on her AGAIN and fathered a child, she found a Bible verse to say to herself before she confronts him
• One is having trouble on the math section of the GED, she says math is her new lover – she will go to bed and wake up with him everyday

 I don’t know about you, but I am going to take my student’s advice and stop B.S.ing. I wrote a book, The 14 Day Experiment, that I need to FINALLY self publish and that is exactly what I am going to do! We have one month left of 2011, what are you going to do?

 

Overcome Career Anxiety: Discover Your Sweet Spot and Plan to Win-Win!

The debate about the state of the economy continues.  Are we are headed for another Great Depression?  One thing I know for sure is that the state of the people is Great Anxiety.  If you are unemployed, the worrisome economic news has you fearing you will never find a job.  If you have a job, you are more than likely spending more time at the office and dealing with mounting workplace stress.  

We all know that a little stress can be good thing and motivate us to positive action.  However, too much constant stress has the opposite impact - immobilization and brain freeze.  You can’t do your best thinking when you are all stressed out.  It’s like walking around blurry all day because you can’t find your glasses that are sitting right on top of your head. 

So how do you find a little peace of mind?

One way is to find the sweet spot – where your motivated skills overlap with the skills needed for high performance on-the-job. Once you discover the sweet spot, you will have an easier time finding a job and make a bigger impact in the workplace.

Motivated skills are your strengths that are also areas of interests. When you are contributing your motivated skills you feel challenged, energized and time flies. To discover your motivated skills, conduct a job analysis.  Make a list of your top functional competencies, the skills you use or would use if you get the job.  Then identify which skills bring you the most joy.

If you are unemployed, try to find jobs that will allow you to maximize contribution. Market yourself based on your motivated skills. You will have an easier time selling yourself when you talk with potential employers about the skills you are passionate about and how they can benefit the organization. If you are currently employed, determine what percentage of your day to day activities allow you to utilize your motivated skills and savor these moments. No job is going to be a perfect fit.  Looking forward to a job fit of even 20% can ease your stress and help you make it though the day.

Have you found a creative way to overcome career anxiety?

CATCH ME on the Greg Davis Morning Show

 

Excited to be a new contributor on the Greg Davis Morning Show. The Show reaches 40 markets with affiliate stations in many cities/states. Listen live 8-11 am (EST) online at www.musicalsoulfood.com.

This past Wednesday’s topic: Dating during a tough economy. I think we need to show some compassion and financial smarts by finding creative (low cost or free) ways to date and keep on building relationships no matter what!

What do you think?

Inspire Positive Social Change

  

A new CNN poll  says 48 percent of Americans think the country is headed for another Great Depression in the next twelve months.  We are living in trying times that are being compared to the Civil Rights Movement and the Vietnam War. There is unrest, distrust and a “better get mine while I can” mindset brewing due to our sluggish economy and many other factors.  Some believe it is going to get better.  The experts say if it doesn’t get better soon, there could be a huge social uproar. 

I say instead of planning for the worse, let's plan to make things better – no matter what.  Instead of waiting for a wave of optimism, we can inspire positive movement.  Positive movement starts by simply helping one another accept that times have changed and each of us must change too.  Making a positive change in your own life will inspire others to make a positive change in their life too.

You could:  

• Alter your schedule in order to have time for your family and self
• Learn a new skill or reinvent your career
• Make a new financial plan for a rainy day or retirement
• Start a home business to make ends meet
• Take better care of yourself so that you can age gracefully
• De-stress and put some fun back into your life
• Find a way to share your gifts and talent with people in need

What have you considered changing? 

Unleash Your SUPER!

 

For nearly ten years I’ve been an executive coach.  Many of my clients are breaking the glass ceiling, but at the expense of their peace of mind.   Determined to succeed they feel over-involved and over-extended.  They feel like they have to exert an almost superhuman effort just to get by.

I use to feel that way too.  All my life, I dreamed of having it all…time and energy for my husband, children, home, church, community, as well as, me-time. I got all I asked for and more.  However, this was no fairy tale ending.  All of my successes came back to haunt me.  Instead of living my dream, it turned out to be a nightmare that ended in divorce. I had no time for myself, I had very little energy, and even less joy.  I struggled in every way imaginable to find balance and fulfillment.

They say it is always darkest before the dawn.  At a low point in my life, the light bulb went off and I finally saw the light.  When businesses are not functioning they way they should be, corporations conduct a strategic analysis to identify ways to improve business performance. This same process can be also used to run the business of life!

Our personal lives deserve to be as full and as satisfying as our professional lives have the potential to become. Given the pace and demands of living today, we are each being called to unleash our “SUPER”. Balance is no longer a perk but a necessity for thriving in today’s world.  When you have balance you are investing in discretionary effort it takes to ensure total success.  Total success means living optimally - fully investing in every area of your life and reaping the maximum benefits. 

Even a small change can make a big difference. Picture a beautiful butterfly. Scientists believe that when a butterfly flaps its wings, the turbulence is powerful enough to create tiny changes in the atmosphere that can delay or even prevent the occurrence of a tornado. If a little butterfly can do all that, imagine what a tiny change in your life could do.

My Childhood Memory: Pain to Purpose!

Do you know why you do what you do or why you feel compelled to support a certain cause?  Are you consciously aware of the motive behind your purpose?  I thought I was until the other day when a colleague asked me WHY I believed so strongly in the power of inspiration. The next day, I was hit with an epiphany!!  I made this video blog to record what I call "The WHY Factor" and my childhood memory that I now realize has made me who I am today. 

 

When opportunity knocks, will you be ready?

 

I met a man who we will call John.  He was in his mid thirties and was back on the dating scene after a traumatic divorce. John had a broken heart.  His wife had betrayed him by having an affair with one of his best friends.  He was in more pain than he ever knew possible.  At one point he wanted to hurt his best friend.  Without thinking, he went home and got his gun and headed over to his former friend’s house.  John was on his way when he noticed that it happened to be time for Bible study.  He decided to stop by church first to pray.  John witnessed a miracle that day.  Out of nowhere, his Pastor said he knew someone was planning to do something destructive.  John went to the altar, confessed and witnessed the mighty power and mercy of God.  In the end, that horrible experience deepened his faith. 

Once his divorce was finalized and he had some time to heal John grew lonely.  He prayed to God “Please send me a wife that will bring me good, not harm, all the days of my life.”  John says he had a very clear vision of his new wife-to-be. Soon afterwards he met a beautiful woman. It was as if she was made just for him.  They dated for a few years and it started to seem as if she wanted a commitment from him. This made John uncomfortable and he broke it off with her. I asked him if he ever went back to ask God what to do about this dilemma.  He said he was afraid to hear what God might say.  He said, “I just figured God sent her to me too soon.”