THE 14 DAY EXPERIMENT.COM

Welcome to the blog with a positive attitude. 

This blog was designed to inspire success.  Experimenting with change is a mindset, a new way of thinking about setting and reaching goals. I wanted to create an environement where people could share the journey towards making positive changes that will take their professional and personal lives to the next level. 

When you are making positive changes you will experience ups and downs.   So let's keep each other focused when we're tempted to quit.  And, let's celebrate every little step we make.

Change can be really rewarding when you keep in mind that everytime you make a move forward, it encourages others to do the same.

Join the movement! Start a 14 day journal.  Become a member of the book club. There's lot's to do, so come back often!  If you need a little help, I am here for you.

Inspire positive change!  Success is contagious!

Kim Bettie

Kim Bettie @ The Learning Annex

Unleash Your SUPER Woman...Now!

What are you waiting for?  

Smart women don't wait for a new year, they know that it is wise to start planning for "new" right now!  I recently piloted Unleash Your SUPER Woman, as a small mastermind group, in Detroit...and it was a hit.  

A few years ago, God spoke to me and said, "Do for the church what you did for General Motors." Unleash Your SUPER Woman: Proverbs 31 Mastermind is my answer to this call.  

Now, I am offering the program online so that women all over the country can experience the electrifying empowerment that comes from a group of likeminded super women.  

Here's how it works:

• You act as the host and select up to 10 friends to join the facilitated mastermind group  
• We meet for 12 weeks (teleseminar) as a group and each participant also receives two individual (phone) coaching sessions, plus unlimited virtual (email) coaching too

If you and your friends are ready to take your lives and careers to the next level...

If you and your friends want to align your vision with God's will for your life...

If you want to get a jump-start on the new year...

Download Unleash Your SUPER Woman overview and share it with your friends.  Leave me a comment or contact me for more information. 

Go ahead...unleash your super woman, now!

Coach Bettie in the Bronx: Sneak Peak at the "I Will Be Successful" Seminar in NY

Coach Lynn and Coach Bettie on Stage at the "I Will Be Successful" Employability Training Camp at the Fathers 4 Progress Center in the Bronx

Kim Bettie presents: "Be Strong: Leverage Your Strengths To Reach A Challenging Goal"

"We are conditioned to believe that we should focus on our weaknesses.  In reality, it is very hard and can take a long time to overcome a weakness that has been a part of the fabric of our lives."

"Thank God that He has given each of us unique gifts and strengths.  We can leverage our strengths to overcome weaknesses and to reach a challenging goal like finding and keeping a job even in this job market."

Coach Bettie asks one of the fathers to share his greatest strength.

"It isn't good enough to just declare a strength, you must back it up with a compelling example and relate it to the specific job you are pursing."

Coach Lynn's organization, Fathers 4 Progress, conducted an amazing workshop for over 70 men that declared their strengths, affirmed their commitment to finding a good job and pledged to be the best father, grandfather, or uncle that they can be.

Be Strong: Leverage Your Strengths To Reach A Challenging Goal

When you are working towards an important goal, it is important to leverage your greatest strengths.  So often we focus on our weaknesses and things that are blocking us.  Shift your mindset to success and focus on your strengths and you will be amazed at what you can overcome and accomplish. 

A few years ago, I coached an executive who asked me to help him with developing anger management.  When someone crossed him, he would lose his cool and berate them at work.  He would point his finger in their face and loudly curse them out with very foul language.  His temper had been an issue during his entire career and now things had gotten out of hand.  He was about to retire and I suspected he was motivated to change because he would soon be spending a lot more time with his family. Improving this aspect of his personality would probably help him at home too.

I told him the fastest way to reach his goal was to leverage his strengths. I challenged him to think about the strengths he possessed that would drive the results he was trying to achieve. He listed his strengths:

• Positive relationship with his staff
• Great communication skills
• Compassionate leader
• Drive toward continuous improvement
• A propensity for change

To build on his relationship with his staff and his leadership skills, he announced his desire to work on his anger at a staff meeting and asked his team for their patience and support.  He admitted he was trying to be a better leader and asked for suggestions on what he could do.  They were excited and agreed to help him.

I sat in on several of his staff meetings and observed his behavior when he interacted with his others. During our weekly coaching sessions, we talked about what went right and what he could have done better. After about two months he began to identify constructive ways to handled conflict that aligned better with his personal strengths.  His team was excited as they started to see him change right before their eyes.  He became a role model to his staff on the importance of continuous growth and development at any age.

It is important to understand your strengths in relation to your goal. For instance, if you have a goal to start exercising, you might want to consider strengths such as your level of commitment to a healthy lifestyle, the fact that you ran track in college, or that you thrive in the face of a challenge.

The objective is to create awareness of your strengths to reinforce the belief that you can reach your goal and you do have what it takes to succeed.  Ultimately, you will want to use your strengths to help you overcome the roadblocks to achieving your goal. How can you do that if you don’t know what they are?

One way to identify your strength is to look at your past successes and think about what strengths you used so you can use them again. An exercise I like to give to my clients is to complete a SWOT analysis.  The SWOT is a self assessment process that analyzes your strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats. The important thing to remember, just like the executive in the story above, is that it’s much easier to play to your strengths.  Once you begin to really acknowledge your strengths and appreciate them, you can use your strengths to compensate for your weaknesses, take advantage of opportunities and combat threats that could derail your success.

What are your greatest strengths and how can you start to use them more often to succeed?

Keep Pushing: You Are Almost There!

I love the saying "Pray Until Something Happens (P.U.S.H.)."  This saying reminds me of a miracle I personally experienced, about 20 years ago, while giving birth to my daughter. 

I remember looking down at my belly just a few days before I went into labor realizing that I had to somehow deliver this baby out of me.  Those of you who have been there, know exactly what I mean.   I just didn’t think I had it in me to handle labor after nine long months of pregnancy.  Everyone can relate to this feeling though.  Doesn't it always seem like you are the most worn out when it's time for the hardest part of making your dreams come true? 

I had done everything I could to prepare for my birthing experience.  I'd taken Lamaze classes and learned about a process for breathing and pushing.  This method was designed to help me to cope with the stress of giving birth.  I was taught what to do when the pressure of a contraction came - instead of screaming, hollering or losing my mind - just breathe.

I felt my first contraction on a Sunday evening.  I was taken to Grace Hospital, in Detroit, and after about 17 hours of labor my doctor told me that I wasn't able to deliver the baby naturally.  The baby was too big for my small frame.  I had spent all that time pushing with no results.  I was past the point of physical, emotional and mental exhaustion!

My Sister worked at the hospital, so my birthing experience had become somewhat a public show.  In addition to family members, there must have been at least twenty of my sister's coworkers in the delivery room.  The crowded stirred in disappointment and concern as they rolled the gurney in to take me to the operating room for a c-section.   All of these people had all waited to witness the delivery and now they were giving up on me.

My sister was the only one, who would not give up.  She stood over me with her hands on her hip.  She had a determined look on her face as she explained, “Kim if you have a c-section now, you will be in twice the pain."   She told me that if I have the baby surgically removed, I would have to heal from the pain of labor because I had been pushing so long and from the operation too.  She pleaded with the doctors to give me one more time to push.  She really believed deep down that I could do it.  I started to believe I could too. 

I only had one chance left.  Everyone stood around in anticipation.  I waited and suddenly the next contraction came.   I breathed in and out...and I found the resolve deep within to push one more time.  I prayed.  I breathed in and out.  I pushed.   And then something miraculous happened - my daughter was born. 

The promise of reaching your goal and changing your life is like the promise of a baby that is growing inside of a woman.  Often your dream is bigger than you even imagined.  It is common to think you don’t have what it takes to handle the pain of seeing it all the way through.   Everyone who started out cheering for you starts to give up.   The pain increases. The stress increases.  The fear of failure increases.  You feel overwhelmed as you continue to try and deliver something so big.

I am a witness that you can do it.  Keep praying and keep pushing...don't give up.  Your dreams can come true.  Trust the process.  You are almost there...P.U.S.H.

Have you witnessed your own miracle?  Share it with us!

 

Kim Bettie Talks About Overcoming Resistance To Change

It's natural to resist change even when it is positive and you want it.  As a life coach, I have learned the key to breaking through.

 

The Power of Journaling: Behind The Scenes Video of a Life Coaching Session

Go behind the scenes of a life coaching session and get an up close and personal look at the power of journaling as my client and I discuss her journal entries, insights and breakthrough.

 

There have been many studies on the benefits of journaling which has been proven to improve health and well-being, counteract many of the negative effects of stress and improve cognitive functioning. People who journal have also been found to become re-employed sooner after loosing their jobs, miss fewer days of work and have higher grade point averages.

Want to experience the power of journaling.  Join the movement and keep a 14 day journal as one of our guest bloggers.  Inspire positive change!

New Video Gives Competitive Advantage for Job Seekers

Highlights from a speaking engagement I did for Workforce One in Harlem NY.  The event was sponsored by Assemblyman Wright and the Hollis Group.   If you know someone looking for work who needs a competitive advantage, please share!

Get A Life And Combat Stress

Given the pace and demands of living, many people are experiencing excessive stress.  One of the most commonly sited sources of stress today is work.  A little stress can be a good thing and can inspire you to act and achieve. On the other hand, too much unmanaged stress can be destructive and leave you feeling emotionally overwhelmed, physically fatigued and unproductive. 

One of the best ways to manage stress at work is to get a life - outside of the office.  Keeping all areas of your personal and business life in proper perspective and balance will help you feel better and give you more energy to handle the pressures of everyday living.

Balance does not necessarily mean equal time, but it does mean that you are investing in every area of your whole life.  Here's three areas to consider investing in, that often get neglected:

Spiritual Practices: Spend time with God and get back to doing the spiritual practices that bring you peace of mind.  

Take Care of Yourself:  Get a good night sleep, eat healthy throughout the day and incorporate exercise into your daily life.

Connect:  Take time to reap the benefits of meaningful rela­tionships by scheduling quality time with family and friends.   

Finding balance can be your best ally in prevent­ing and relieving stress.  If you are feeling an excessive amount of stress, don’t feel embarrassed to ask for help.  Everybody needs a little help once in a while.  Talk to your pastor, good friend or hire a professional coach or counselor when needed.

Adopt An Experimental Mindset

One of the main reasons people have trouble reaching a goal is they focus only on the end result, and not the process it will take to get there.  These same people give up too easily and become frustrated when things go off-course.  If this has been your experience, you may feel like you don’t have what it takes to reach your goals.  You could not be more wrong.

When you are attempting to make a change, it takes the pressure off when you see the process as an experiment.  Your efforts are no longer about self worth or validation, but self improvement.  It is really about accepting the reality of what it takes to make the desired change.  

When you first embark on making a change to your diet, schedule, relationship, or budget – it helps to realize that you are working out the kinks in your process and the objective is to figure out what works best for you.   You dramatically increase the odds of reaching your goal as you increase awareness of your thoughts, feelings and actions related to the attainment of your goal.  When you conduct experiments before setting your goal, you are jump-starting positive change and setting yourself up for success.  You begin to enjoy the journey of reaching a goal.

You will never be immobilized by fear of failing again.  An experimental mindset frees your mind and allows you to let go of performance anxiety and fear of defeat.   Failure becomes feedback on how to improve.  If an experiment fails, you don’t quit. You learn as much from the little failures and as you do the big wins.  You don’t give up on your important goals, you simply let go of a process go that isn’t working and try a new one.  This will keep you in the right frame of mind to find your way through unforeseen circumstances and generate break-through thinking that will set you free.

Meditation Can Re-Energize Your Life

The great debate continues.  Is it really possible to have it all?  An even better question is, "can we handle it all?"  Given the pace and demands of living today, many of us are growing weary of unsuccessfully juggling multiple roles.  We continue to sacrifice one aspect of life for another and our quality of life is suffering.

That was the story of my life.  When I was a young girl, I dreamed of having it all: health, fitness, the perfect career, a loving husband, adoring children and community service.  I believed I would have the time and energy to handle it all!  I actually got all I asked for and more. However, this was no fairy tale ending. All of my successes came back to haunt me.  Instead of living my dream life, it turned out to be a nightmare that ended in divorce.  I had no time for myself, very little energy, and even less joy. 

I struggled in every way imaginable to find balance and fulfillment.  I was not prepared to live the life I dreamed about.  It would take a major shift in perspective for me to overcome the barriers to really living my vision and enjoying my life. 

One day, I had a major epiphany!  At the time I was an executive coach and had been successful in helping employees create a shared vision with their company.  I had seen first hand how overworked and disenchanted people began to truly align themselves with the corporate vision and suddenly felt engaged, enthused and energized about their work lives.  I thought to myself, "If I create a shared vision with God, will it re-energize my life?" I gave it a try. 

I began meditating on several verses from Proverbs 31.  I had found a divine role model, a rare and valiant woman who juggled all her responsibilities with grace and dignity.  I said the verses over and over again out loud and in my head.  I saw myself living the vision:

“Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value…She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life…She gets up while it is still dark and provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls…She considers a field and buys it and out of her earnings, she plants a vineyard…She sets out about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for the tasks…She sees that her trading is profitable, her lamp does not go out at night…She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy…She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes…She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness."

As I meditated on the scriptures, I stopped complaining.  I stopped hoping things would get easier and instead asked God for more strength.  A peace came over me that surpassed my own understanding.  I was finally able to embrace with joy the roles that once overwhelmed me.  This type of balance is about being poised with the gracious tact to cope and handle every aspect of life. 

I am a very busy woman and still get overwhelmed at times.  Yet, as I take time to meditate on God’s vision, I am constantly re-energized from the inside-out.  I know without a doubt that in my weakness God's power is made perfect...and that is where my strength comes from!

Single and The City: What Do Men and Women Want in a RelationshipToday?

What's love got to do with it?  Well, everything of course!  We are celebrating Valentine's Day 2012 by sharing the Best of The Kim Bettie Show's Single and The City episode that was recorded on Valentine's Day February 2010. 

The show explores what men and women desire in relationships today and why it's so hard to find harmony.  I had a courageous conversation with three single ladies, Rian English, who just got engaged this year, Lisa Mills and Sandra Dee Johnson.  We talked about what's been holding them back in relationships and each lady blogged about their Love Experiment.  Check out Rian's Blog,  Lisa's Blog, and Sandra Dee's Blog!

Also, Alton Gunn hosted a panel of single men who shared from the heart about what they want and the male perspective.

Click here to listen to the show

 

Enjoy an inspiring conversation about changing from the inside-out on LIFE IN THE D w/ Mary Sheffield

I spent this Saturday morning sharing inspiring stories on Life In The D with Mary Sheffield on 1200 AM in Detroit.  Mary, her brother Horace IV, guest Al Williams and I talked about changing from the inside-out in order to reach goals like losing weight and staying out of "crazy" relationships. 

Click here to listen to highlights from the show

 

"The dream may not be fulfilled, but it’s just good that you have a desire to bring it into reality!"

An excerpt of Unfulfilled Dreams from A knock at midnight: Inspiration from the great sermons of Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr.

This is one of my favorite sermons by the Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.  It was delivered at Ebenezer Baptist Church in Atlanta, Georgia, on March 3, 1968.

"And each of you this morning in some way is building some kind of temple. Well, that is the story of life. And the thing that makes me happy is that I can hear a voice crying through the vista of time, saying: 'It may not come today or it may not come tomorrow, but it is well that it is within thine heart. (Yes) It’s well that you are trying.'  (Yes it is) You may not see it. The dream may not be fulfilled, but it’s just good that you have a desire to bring it into reality. (Yes) It’s well that it’s in thine heart.  Thank God this morning that we do have hearts to put something meaningful in. Life is a continual story of shattered dreams.

Now let me bring out another point. Whenever you set out to build a creative temple, whatever it may be, you must face the fact that there is a tension at the heart of the universe between good and evil. It’s there: a tension at the heart of the universe between good and evil. (Yes, sir) Hinduism refers to this as a struggle between illusion and reality. Platonic philosophy used to refer to it as a tension between body and soul. Zoroastrianism, a religion of old, used to refer to it as a tension between the god of light and the god of darkness. Traditional Judaism and Christianity refer to it as a tension between God and Satan. Whatever you call it, there is a struggle in the universe between good and evil.

And this brings me to the basic point of the text. In the final analysis, God does not judge us by the separate incidents or the separate mistakes that we make, but by the total bent of our lives. In the final analysis, God knows (Yes) that his children are weak and they are frail. (Yes, he does) In the final analysis, what God requires is that your heart is right. (Amen, Yes) Salvation isn’t reaching the destination of absolute morality, but it’s being in the process and on the right road. (Yes)

There’s a highway called Highway 80. I’ve marched on that highway from Selma, Alabama, to Montgomery. But I never will forget my first experience with Highway 80 was driving with Coretta and Ralph and Juanita Abernathy to California. We drove from Montgomery all the way to Los Angeles on Highway 80—it goes all the way out to Los Angeles. And you know, being a good man, being a good woman, does not mean that you’ve arrived in Los Angeles. It simply means that you’re on Highway 80. (Lord have mercy) Maybe you haven’t gotten as far as Selma, or maybe you haven’t gotten as far as Meridian, Mississippi, or Monroe, Louisiana—that isn’t the question. The question is whether you are on the right road. (That’s right) Salvation is being on the right road, not having reached a destination.

Oh, we have to finally face the point that there is none good but the father. (That’s right) But, if you’re on the right road, God has the power (Yes, sir) and he has something called Grace. (Yes, sir) And he puts you where you ought to be."

Click here to read the entire sermon.

PUSH PAST PROCRASTINATION

If we are honest with ourselves, we can all admit to letting procrastination get the best of us at one time or another.  When you procrastinate, you are really choosing to wait over acting in the now.  Think about what happens when you make a resolution to lose weight and get healthier.  You weigh yourself, make a commitment to work out three times a week and join the gym near your job. Then, one day after working late you are faced with the choice between exercising and going home to watch a movie and you choose the movie.

One thing to keep in mind is that we tend to procrastinate because we don’t want to do something that we think we should do.  There is good news!  We can push past procrastination and override that rebellious teenager that lives within by asking WHAT, WHY and HOW.

WHAT is my motivation? Just like an actor has to find his or her motivation when preparing for a new role, you can discover your motivation regarding a particular goal.  First, you have to understand your motivation style. Some people are motivated by “achievement” or by what they hope to gain after the attainment of a particular objective. If this is your style, then you may want to eat healthier in order to feel better and have more energy.  So when you are feeling the urge to put off until tomorrow what you can do today, stop and envision how good you are going to feel three months from now when you have been exercising regularly.  Others are more motivated by preventing something catastrophic from occurring.  If your style is “prevention” you may be motivated to live a healthier lifestyle to prevent heart disease. If you are tempted to procrastinate, say to yourself, “today I choose to workout to prevent heart disease.”

WHY do I want or need to reach this goal?  Reflecting on “Why” you are pursuing a goal will guide you with a bigger picture rather than the everyday actions that might not be so appealing. This can be inspiring, energizing and give you a sense of purpose. When you feel you just can’t get started on a task, reflect on why you are pursuing your goal. Choosing the salad with veggies over the cheeseburger becomes and opportunity to live longer or become a role model. 

HOW will I reach this goal?  Think about the actual mechanics of how you will get from A to B. What are the specific actions you will take to accomplish the goal?  Run the play in your head: “I will get out of bed, take a shower, eat something from my healthy list and put on my work-out clothes that I laid out the night before. It takes 15 minutes to drive to the gym and after I work out, I will shower, get dressed for work and eat a healthy snack.”  Thinking all the steps through in your mind helps you think about whether or not you can actually do what needs to be done and what obstacles stand in your way.  This deliberate reflection creates an automatic routine that will help you push past procrastination and reach your goals.

Now...push past procrastination and get busy!!

Powerful lessons learned from The Kim Bettie Show's Real Housewives of Detroit

Go behind the scenes with The Kim Bettie Show's Real Housewives of Detroit as they reflect on their experience on reality radio.  Click on the link below to hear the show and meet Karen Bowie-Washington, Carol Gist-Stramler, and Candy Allen-Kinney. 

Click here to listen to the show

Plan To Win: 7 things to do before setting goals for 2012

New Year resolutions don’t have a very high success rate and for this reason many people opt out of making them at all.  Stop blaming yourself!  Blame your process!  When you fail to plan, you fail to win.  Reaching a goal takes hard work. And, the work begins before you even set your goal!  There are 7 things you can do before you set your New Year goals that will increase your chances for success: 

Look at the big picture. Think about how your goal will impact your whole life. You may have to adjust your schedule.  One of my clients who is a working mother decided to go back to college and now incorporates “Study Saturdays” into her weekend plans for her and her daughters as a way to bond AND take care of business at the same time.

Realize YOU will have to change.  A goal usually involves many lifestyle changes you will have to make.  If your goal is to improve your marriage, and your plan includes a list of all the things your spouse will need to do – you need to revise your plan.  Think of what you can change about yourself.  When you change yourself for the better, everything around you changes for the better too.

Understand that change is a process.  Making a change involves going from: not thinking about the issue, to thinking about it, then preparing for it, acting on it and finally maintaining it.  It's important to understand that change is a process and realize that relapse is a common. When you experience a set back, commit to bouncing back to action and don’t slip back into denial.

Don’t be afraid to resolve.  Making a resolution is empowering and you can’t fail at it. When you express your decision and determination to do something, you are now thinking about it and that is a great first step.

Ask yourself WHY you resolve to reach your goal now.  Dig deep and challenge yourself to uncover the reason your goal is important to you and others. This gives your goal meaning and purpose, and will help you when you are tempted to give up.

Get prepared.  You can’t just jump in and expect to reach an important goal. If you are thinking about starting a business, first do your homework to find out what it will take to get your company started and make it a success.  Read a book or watch a documentary of a successful entrepreneur you admire.  This knowledge will help you set the right goals and strategies for success.

Experiment with change.  Before you even set your goal, you can begin to experiment with change.  Think about the lifestyle changes that you need to make to ensure your dreams come true.  Pick one thing, make a simple plan, and get started.  Experimenting with change takes the pressure off - if you succeed or fail - you have learned something valuable.

Doing these 7 things will help you set the foundation for success.  You are alerting your mind and body that it's time to work. This puts you in the right position to set and achieve your New Year goals!

THE BENEFITS OF JOURNALING

There have been many studies on the benefits of Journaling which has been proven to improve health and well-being, counteract many of the negative effects of stress and improve cognitive functioning. People who journal have also been found to become re-employed sooner after loosing their jobs, miss fewer days of work and have higher grade point averages.  Here are a few types of journaling that will get you started:

Free Style:

Sometimes people don’t now how to get started or what to write.  Simply put your thoughts and feelings on paper and just let it flow.  If you are journaling free style – it’s really about making a commitment to the journaling process and sticking with it.  You can journal when you wake up in morning or before you go to bed or even on your lunch hour, when ever you have some privacy and time for yourself. Commit to filling up a page.  If you don’t know what to write…then say that, “I woke up and I don’t know what to write”, and let your thoughts flow from there. Write about the meeting you have today and what you need to do to get prepared.  Just start writing and your thoughts will begin to fill up the page.

Gratitude Journaling:

When you write about what you are grateful for, you keep your mind focused on what you have rather than what you don’t or what someone else has.  This type of journaling helps you stay in touch with what you have in the present, while you are working on improving your future.  The standard recommendation is to record five blessings a day, I like setting a goal like that because it trains your mind to be on the look out for the good.

Weekly or Monthly Accomplishments Journal:

Keep a running list your achievements.  It doesn’t matter if someone else pats you on the back, when you keep an accomplishments journal you get a chance to pat yourself on the back.  This type of journal is great for work because it helps you get prepared for your performance reviews and can give you ideas to boost your resume. At the end of every month, list your accomplishments at home, work, and in your community.  

"STOP B.S.ing"

For the last six months, I have been teaching a class at a career school in Detroit.   I must say it has been one of the most rewarding and inspiring experiences I’ve ever had.  It has been rewarding because it takes me back to where I came from.  I grew up in Detroit near 7 mile and Wyoming.  I am one of the few kids who made it off the block.  Most of the people I grew up with ended up going to jail, selling drugs, dead, in prostitution or stuck in the cycle of poverty.  Yes, it feels good to have made it out of a situation with the odds stacked against me.  But, the memory of my friends who were left behind never leaves. 

I knew this experience would fulfill my need to give back, but what I didn’t expect was to be so inspired.  Many of my students have no job experience, no high school diploma, lots of baby mama/daddy drama, a criminal record, poor living conditions, no transportation and no money. Yet, they have tucked their tails between their legs and are asking for help to get their GED, a trade and a new resume.

My job is to help them develop soft skills and the fortitude to push through their circumstances and succeed.  This past Thursday, I was conducting a workshop and spent about sixty minutes really digging deep to find the right words to motivate them to acknowledge their biggest roadblocks and leverage their strengths to overcome.

After the class, one man who is in his thirties stood up and said, “Ms. Bettie I get it. I have 30 days left of this year. I need to stop B.S.ing.”  After all that, he summed it up and said it better than me.

YES, STOP B.S.ing.  That is exactly what most of us need to do.

If we are honest with ourselves, we can see that we could be so much farther along if we would commit to walking out the “good ideas” and opportunities that we get.  And, we know the key to our future success is to fully embrace who we are and take our performance to the next level.  Here are some of the goals my students are committed to walking out:

• One hates authority, but has decided if someone knows more than she does and says jump, she will say “how high”
• One is very introverted and not comfortable speaking in public, she is pushing to speak up in class (and she did three times that day)
• One says he can’t seem to be conversational during interviews, he prepared and rehearsed and secured a job in four days
• One just found out her man has cheated on her AGAIN and fathered a child, she found a Bible verse to say to herself before she confronts him
• One is having trouble on the math section of the GED, she says math is her new lover – she will go to bed and wake up with him everyday

 I don’t know about you, but I am going to take my student’s advice and stop B.S.ing. I wrote a book, The 14 Day Experiment, that I need to FINALLY self publish and that is exactly what I am going to do! We have one month left of 2011, what are you going to do?

 

Overcome Career Anxiety: Discover Your Sweet Spot and Plan to Win-Win!

The debate about the state of the economy continues.  Are we are headed for another Great Depression?  One thing I know for sure is that the state of the people is Great Anxiety.  If you are unemployed, the worrisome economic news has you fearing you will never find a job.  If you have a job, you are more than likely spending more time at the office and dealing with mounting workplace stress.  

We all know that a little stress can be good thing and motivate us to positive action.  However, too much constant stress has the opposite impact - immobilization and brain freeze.  You can’t do your best thinking when you are all stressed out.  It’s like walking around blurry all day because you can’t find your glasses that are sitting right on top of your head. 

So how do you find a little peace of mind?

One way is to find the sweet spot – where your motivated skills overlap with the skills needed for high performance on-the-job. Once you discover the sweet spot, you will have an easier time finding a job and make a bigger impact in the workplace.

Motivated skills are your strengths that are also areas of interests. When you are contributing your motivated skills you feel challenged, energized and time flies. To discover your motivated skills, conduct a job analysis.  Make a list of your top functional competencies, the skills you use or would use if you get the job.  Then identify which skills bring you the most joy.

If you are unemployed, try to find jobs that will allow you to maximize contribution. Market yourself based on your motivated skills. You will have an easier time selling yourself when you talk with potential employers about the skills you are passionate about and how they can benefit the organization. If you are currently employed, determine what percentage of your day to day activities allow you to utilize your motivated skills and savor these moments. No job is going to be a perfect fit.  Looking forward to a job fit of even 20% can ease your stress and help you make it though the day.

Have you found a creative way to overcome career anxiety?